Awkward. Read online

  Jack Darcy, the stoic, ever-confident surgeon, is shaking. I’ve never seen his fingers tremble until now, and it’s this tiny thing that sends little paper hearts bursting through my mind. I know with certainty that I’ve fallen deeply, irrevocably in love with Jack Darcy.

  “Jack,” I whisper, easing to a sitting position. We’ve moved so fast already, and I’m not sure Jack’s thinking at all. “Don’t be nervous.”

  “I’m not fucking nervous.”

  “Your hands.” With a touch soft as a feather, I land my fingers over his. They’re trembling. Shaking. “What’s wrong?”

  Jack’s eyes, dark and deep, look to me. He begins to speak, then hesitates. “You’re...” He stops again and dismisses the thought with a shake of his head.

  “What is it, Jack?”

  “You’re you, Allie. You’re incredible. You’re funny, and you’re smart, and you’re gorgeous. So sexy, and amazing, and...” He glances up at me, as if testing to see if he’s gone too far. “I ruin every date I’ve ever been on, and frankly, I couldn’t live with myself if I ruined us.”

  “Then it’s a very good thing this isn’t a date.”

  “Last night—”

  “Let’s forget about last night and start over.”

  “Fine. Tonight, then. Look at us, look at this.” He gestures between us. “Don’t think I didn’t hear you promise me a chance at a future, Allie.”

  “I don’t know what to tell you. I want this just as badly as you do. I just...I can’t predict the future,” I say as his mother’s threats swipe through my memories. “I don’t know what it’ll mean for us.”

  “We’re giving this a fair shot, Allie Jenkins,” he says with a renewed determination.

  “I’m listening.”

  “I’m going to kiss you until you whisper my name. I’ll touch you until you beg for more. I’ll taste you until you’re ready to have me, all of me.”

  I swallow, but I can’t bring myself to argue with him. The slow burn from before is re-ignited, and my arguments all seem to have fallen by the wayside. Nothing, nothing is as important as feeling Jack inside of me, holding me, making me his own.

  For what it’s worth, I want him to prove me wrong. I want him to love me and hold me as his own, to claim me for a lifetime together.

  “Promise me you’ll try—that you’ll give us a chance.”

  “I promise you that: I’ll try.” My fingers are surprisingly calm as I finish unbuttoning his shirt.

  He’s bare chested underneath and stunning. He could be an athlete, an Armani model, a movie star. He could be anything he wanted to be, with anyone he wanted to know, and yet, he’s here with me.

  I let my hands explore, running over his chest, his sculpted arms, his sides. He’s gorgeous, and I pull him against my body, our bare skin finally connecting in a way that’s more satisfying than I’d imagined. My head falls against his shoulder.

  His hands ease against my hips now, his finger slipping beneath the edge of my panties and traces thin lines along my skin. His hand snaps the edge of the lace against my body as he covers me with his, perching over me on the bed. We’re both next to naked, and I can feel every wisp of his breath as it dances over my skin. And then with the blink of an eye, the panties disappear, too.

  He gives a delicious frown of concentration as our eyes meet. My reaction is instant, and I arch against him, his arousal pressing to my stomach. He groans at the touch, his fingers moving with a new sense of urgency, gentle, possessive as he strokes and plays, teasing one gasp after the next from my lips. The tension grows, builds, multiplies as I begin to writhe against him.

  My head presses back against the fabric as his hand cups my warmth, holds me tight, and drives me higher. He taunts and teases, holding all I’ve ever wanted just out of reach.

  “You feel incredible already,” he rumbles. “I don’t know how long I’ll be able to last.”

  “Doesn’t matter,” I gasp. “Not important. We can go again.”

  He gives a short bark of laughter, then returns to business, raising one hand to cup my breast. He massages through the thin fabric of my bra, running his thumb over my nipple before he eases downward.

  He kisses a trail over my stomach as he finds my core, planting a kiss that makes me cry out for him. My hips buck upward, and Jack catches them with his free hand. He holds me tight to him as his tongue moves, gentle and confident, firm and possessive. My fingers reach for the bed sheets, dig into the mattress. The sounds coming from me are almost otherworldly, and I can’t quite seem to string any sort of real syllables together.

  “Jack,” I gasp, calling for him. “Jack, I need—”

  One of his fingers plunges inside of me, and then another, and my cries once again fade to nonsense. He’s pushing and pulling, circling me, bringing me to heights I’ve never before seen.

  “Jack, I need...” I reach for him, my hands clawing at his shoulders. “More. All of you.”

  Finally, mercifully, he stands, and I take advantage of the opportunity. I stand on the bed and pounce toward him, leaping forward and tugging his boxers down before retreating back to the bed. It’s not graceful; if anything, I’m flying wild with desperation, and this brings a half-smug grin to his face.

  “I like this side of Allie Jenkins,” he murmurs.

  I survey Jack’s body which, as I might’ve guessed from last night, does not disappoint. He stands before me, long and lean and beautiful to perfection, and I swallow my sighs of pleasure. It’s a sheer joy to look at him. “I like this side of Jack Darcy. And the other one. Turn around.”

  Another laugh from him, but he complies, and the back is just as stunning as the front.

  By the time he comes full circle to stand before me, there truly is a new side to Jack that I’ve never seen before. A light pink tinge colors his cheeks for the briefest of seconds as he realizes that I’m staring at his nakedness. Drinking him in, each and every inch.

  He reaches down, his eyes averted. Pulling me to his chest, he holds me snug and perfect, as one. By the time Jack has us situated, my head’s on the pillow, and he’s perched above me, holding my weight in one hand.

  “Tell me you want this,” Jack murmurs in my ear. “Tell me you want me.”

  “I want you,” I gasp, feeling his arousal nudge against my entrance. A zing of electricity shoots through me at the mere thought of him there. “Jack, I need you more than anything.”

  “Forever.”

  I look away, unable to hold his gaze. Unable to promise what I don’t know is certain. I always keep my promises to Jack, and this is one is too big.

  Jack gives a brief shake of his head. “Allie—”

  “You know I’m on the pill, and I’m perfectly healthy,” I tell him, changing the subject.

  “Me too.”

  “Jack,” I whine, pressing lower, pushing him with the thought of holding back. The fullness of him is starting to spread me, and I take him further and further. It’s not enough. I need him, all of him. “I need you.”

  He grimaces, sliding into me so slowly, painstakingly slow. Easing inside inch by inch until he’s halfway in, and then further, stretching me, easing me into a wild frenzy of need.

  I squirm against him, pressing with all my weight, but he doesn’t move faster. He rests there, savoring the moment, and I’m so full I can’t possibly take a second more of the anticipation. It’s almost painful, this weight, and I swallow a sob as I grip his shoulder.

  “Jack,” I grit out. “It’s too much, you need to—”

  Then he moves, and my mind goes blank. The friction between us, the heat, the need, the wild desperation. The way we fit suddenly works—a perfect match, a beautiful chorus.

  One thrust, slow, gentle, as his eyes lock with mine. It’s the intensity in his gaze that has my heart stuttering to a stop, my breathing ragged. He eases out until he sees the fear in my eyes that he’ll stop, and then he pauses, his wide eyes mirroring my basic need for him, before he plunges back in
to me.

  He thrusts again, faster and faster, his lips fixing on mine as his tongue slips between my lips and draws out my gasps. Faster, faster, until the fire burns and the point of no return crashes over us. I arch against him, pressing my hips to his as he covers me entirely. His muscles tense, arms taut as they hold me to him.

  My breath mixes with his, the sheen from our bodies melding to one as we fly through this race, this dance, the passion buzzing around us, intensifying as we dive off the highest of cliffs and race toward a final destination that frightens both of us.

  We can’t stop, can’t move forward, we can only lose ourselves in one another, so that’s what we do. I soak up Jack’s touches, his fingers twined in my hair, his caress on my breast. The kiss swallows my sob as the climax bursts through us, dragging us under, drowning us in an earth-shattering tremor.

  My ragged breaths slow as Jack holds me tight, perched above me, covering me with his embrace. I meet his eyes and suddenly feel quite shy.

  I offer him a smile, carefully assessing his reaction. Attempting to judge whether these last few moments rocked his earth as much as they had mine. It takes a long moment, but finally, he grins. A wide-eyed, shit-eating smile that has me grinning right back at him, the light in his eyes reflecting down on me.

  “That was incredible,” he says. “Holy shit, Allie.”

  “Yeah,” I agree, and then I lean forward and graze the softest of kisses to his cheek. “Jack Darcy, you most certainly do not suck at sex.”

  Chapter 29

  JACK DARCY

  Sometime in the wee hours of the morning, she moves against me. It’s soft and subtle, but her curves are warm and inviting, and I lean in to her.

  She wiggles against me, her bottom pressing to my hips. I try not to wake her with my growing arousal, but I don’t have enough self-control to pull away from her.

  One night with Allie isn’t enough. I’d known that going in, and now all I can do is hope that somehow, in the span of a few hours, I’ve convinced her that this is enough. That I’m enough, and we’re enough, and that this, us, is worth a shot.

  She stirs against me once more, and I feel my limbs getting warmer by the second, hot and turned on as she moves in her sleep.

  I can’t handle it anymore; I’m starving for her. I’ve laid here all night, waiting for her to wake, desperate for more. Apparently, she’s all worn out, which normally would put a smug smile on my face. Today, it’s just making me anxious.

  Both Allie and I have somewhere to be this morning. It’s her first day of school, and I have to be at the airport by seven. Finally, I glance over and see that the clock blinks 5 a.m. My alarm would sound in a few minutes anyway, so I reach for my phone and switch it off before it can wake Allie.

  Standing, I prolong my morning stretch and savor the opportunity to watch Allie as she sleeps. She’s curled in a ball, her face tender and soft against the last rays of starlight peeking through the window.

  I’d say she looks like an angel, but after last night, I’m not sure that’s a fair analogy. She’s got a devilish streak in her, a dark-eyed gleam that arrived when she called my name. The thought of us finishing together has me growing harder in an instant, and I turn from the bedroom and hightail it to the shower before Allie wakes to find me standing over her like this.

  I flick the shower on, adjust it to the coldest setting, and climb in under the pelting stream. It’s like needles against my body, but sadly, it does nothing to deflate the excitement happening below the waist.

  I lean against the shower wall as I shampoo, running through a list of bones in the foot. Usually, reciting technical details helps me pull my mind off Allie, but not this time. This time, my body knows what it’s missing.

  “Jack?” The voice is soft, startling me to attention.

  I hadn’t heard the door creak open, and the sight of Allie reflected in the mirror has my heart pumping.

  “Did I wake you?” My shower is one of those fancy things without a real door, so I poke my head into the main room. “I’m sorry, I tried to be quiet.”

  She grimaces as the spray of water bounces off my shoulder and hits her in the face. “That’s freezing!”

  “Yeah, and it’s not working.” I give her the most fleeting of smiles, a shiver suddenly wracking through my body. “I’m sorry if I—”

  “Do you mind...” Allie trails off as she turns to look at her own attire, which can hardly be called fully clothed. “Can I join you?”

  I lose my words as she begins to lift the borrowed t-shirt over her body. I know from having been curled next to her exactly how little she has on underneath it.

  “Uh, yeah, sure, er—” I’m completely thrown into shock, stuttering until I see the prickle of goose bumps lifting her skin and finally, I leap to attention. “Yes, please.”

  Flipping the water to a much warmer setting, I watch as she runs a hand underneath the stream, eventually stepping into the shower with a lidded glance in my direction.

  “Thank you,” she says, when the water finally reaches normal temperature.

  She moves her body to stand under the stream, and my knees suddenly turn into melting ice cubes watching the water run over her skin.

  Her eyes close as the water dampens her hair, then soaks it. Pulling her locks over her shoulder, she adjusts so the water caresses down her back and leaves her front exposed, tiny rivulets of water streaming across her curves, over her breasts, down her sides.

  “Well?” she prompts, when I don’t show any signs of moving. “Are you going to join me or what? You’re creeping me out just standing there.”

  “Sorry,” I mutter, but I still can’t make a move. I shake my head and study her a second longer. “I’m sorry,” I say again. “I can’t...you’re so beautiful. I saw you last night, but it was dark, and this...” I shake my head. “You’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”

  She blushes, her cheeks already pink from the warm water. “Jack, it’s just me.”

  “It’s you,” I whisper. “That’s the most amazing part of all.”

  She turns to catch the stream of water, ducking her face into the spray, then letting it slide across her hair, her shoulders, her gloriously bare bottom. I bite my lip, feeling suddenly empty. Starved, wild.

  My hands reach for her, startling a gasp from her lips as my fingers encircle her hips and pull her toward me, hard, fast, pressing her naked skin to mine. My erection, which I’d tried so hard to dissipate, is pressed against her, and as our bodies collide, I feel her moan before I hear it.

  I tuck her against me, every curve of hers a perfect fit. My lips press to her neck. Goose bumps erupt as a hot kiss joins with the chilled air, sending her writhing in my arms.

  “I want you again,” I murmur in her ear. “And again, every day. Come with me to Florida.”

  “Jack—”

  “Please, think about it.”

  She spins to me, and the second she pulls away there’s a vacuum between us. A frigid, horrifying gap that I can’t stand. We’re frozen like this, apart, for too long. One second, two maybe, and then I crash against her, my lips dragging a sigh from her as our kiss propels us against the shower wall.

  My hand braces for the impact while her arms rope around my neck. She’s more desperate than me, this time driving us forward as one leg wraps around my back and nudges me closer.

  I lift her, easing the path for her legs to wrap around my waist. She pulls me against her, begging with a silent plea for me to slip inside her warmth, to distract both of us with the intensity of our pleasure.

  “Tell me why.” I nip the lobe of her ear as my arousal teases at her core, dragging out frustrated little moans that tell me she doesn’t want to talk. “Allie.” I press again against her, harder, slipping inside ever-so slightly. “Why?”

  “Stop teasing me,” she whispers, her eyes closing as she leans her head against the wall, her face constricted in a pained need. “Please, Jack, we both want this.”

&nbs
p; I nudge deeper inside of her. “I don’t plan on teasing you, I plan on having you.” Another inch, and a guttural cry escapes from her lips, along with a begging gasp.

  In answer, I press fully into her, my muscles tensing, my mind easing into a sharp blackness. There’s a haziness around us. The shower runs hot down my back, prickles of warmth digging into my skin.

  My mouth connects with her, giving into her pleas for this night, this morning, this moment. I need this, need her.

  I pull back, push, pull again in a slow thrust, each motion causing a shudder from Allie. Her eyes are closed, her hands looped around my neck, her lips tilted in a pout.

  “Oh, Jack,” she gasps. “Jack.”

  “Open your eyes,” I tell her. “Allie, look at me,” I murmur, moving within her, faster, pressing her back hard against the wall. “Look at me, honey.”

  When she doesn’t respond, I begin to pull back slightly, threatening to take away everything that’s holding us together. This gets her eyes to flash open. A shade of fear blended with desire. Her eyes lock on mine as her hips arch into me.

  Fingernails dig into my shoulder, biting and hot as her need courses through me. The feel of her, the touch, the taste. I can’t handle much more. But I need this to last just seconds longer.

  I meet those eyes I’ve known for years, now more intimately than anyone in this world, and I cup her cheek in my hand. “I am madly in love with you, Allie Jenkins.”

  “Jack—”

  Before she feels pressure to respond, our kiss resumes, and I press myself into her so completely, so fully, it wipes out any speech, any thought from existence. The finish that we both long for, the shattering of two hearts joined in a night that will be forever seared into my mind.

  I feel her clench seconds before she calls my name, her head reaching back as my lips find her throat, pressing there, my fingers holding her steady as her body shudders against me, and she cries out again and again.